Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful that I am not participating in a drug deal.
As much as I enjoy having my life threatened by the act of chainsaw mutilation, I just assume not hitch my wagon to that star. Of course, we all know that buying drugs can sometimes be as easy as "Hey Steve, I fancy a bag of pot. Groovy. See you at the disco tonight", but these are not the kinds of exchanges that I care to address today.
I can get a little anxious when a waitress is standing over me and I haven't decided what to order yet. I can't imagine the tidal wave of panic I would endure when combing through a million dollars worth of blow while some scofflaw named Esteban tickles my ear with the barrel of an assault rifle. This is a path in life that I have chosen not to follow. I enjoy a good caper as much as anyone else, but I am thankful that I don't face the chance of death and imprisonment on a daily basis. At least, I don't consciously FURTHER my chances...
Some situations can lead you into participating in a high profile drug deal may include: being a high profile drug dealer, stocking up for a weekend getaway in vegas, proving yourself to the "capo", being an undercover cop, being a corrupt cop, being a schizophrenic retired cop, being courtney love's personal assistant, looking to make your one big score then skip town with your new peach flavored hooker girlfriend named Alabama, etc.
Drug deals are more "sketch" filled than a trash bin in a Life Drawing class. I don't care what the circumstances are, there is always a chance that something will go awry and when that happens.... people get angry and grown men get neutered. I don't know about you, but if I can get through my life without jeopardizing the safety and intactness of my testicles then as far as I'm concerned.. life is peachy.
So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful that I am not participating in a drug deal". Unless you are, in fact, participating in a drug deal in which case you must say "Before I give you the money who want's to see a magic trick? You're gonna love this. Ok I'm gonna need a volunteer...... who here has a briefcase full of cocaine?...... Don't worry about what I'm gonna do with it."
Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.
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