Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful that I live on land.
I don't care what that adorable, Caribbean dialectic crab from The Little Mermaid says. I don't think it's better down where it's wetter and I don't think it's hotter under the water. In fact, I think it's worser and colder and I am happy to not live there. We should all feel blessed that we can trot the globe freely and that we could walk 500 hundred miles if we wanted. Maybe even walk 500 more...... just to BE THE MAN WHO.... ok.
If that little chapter of evolution is correct, and at some point a crazy monkey-fish did walk out of the ocean on his lunch break to give it the old college try above sea level..... then thank you, evolution! Now we live in a world of endless land dwelling possibilities and that ain't nothin' to sneeze at.
Some ways to utilize the blessing of being a land dwelling homosapien include: playing kickball, eating cotton candy, throwing a ninja star, watching women's volleyball, drawing an arbol tree in the spring with semi-soft charcoal, using a stun gun, building a fort, seeing who can balance on a log the longest, base jumping from a clock tower, listening to the smooth sounds of Morgan Freeman's voice, etc.
Don't get me wrong, the ocean is a beautiful and wondrous place and I'm glad that it's there. I just don't want to live in it. Even that halfway point which was illustrated in "Water World" with Kevin Costner where people are living above water on boats but there doesn't seem to be land anywhere.... Sure you'd get your daily dose of sunshine and all the tuna you could eat.... but no thanks. In fact, if someone told me that I could either strip down naked and dive into a wild pack of hungry wolves, or live on a boat surrounded by infinite water with Kevin Coster, I'd rather take my...... "Chances with Wolves".
So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful that I live on land." Unless you actually live under water in which case you must say "I'm surrounded by nymphomanic mermaids all day so I don't know what you're complaining about, but good lord are my hands pruned like a bitch!"
Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.
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