Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Daily Thanks - Day 31 - Ninjas

Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for Ninjas.

I was struck by quite the moment of hesitance when approaching this as a topic to share my thoughts on. Ninjas, or people who study the art of Ninjutsu, or known to some as the Shinobi, are a group that constantly falls victim to satirical and parodical forms of portrayal, and these days can seem to be a subject matter that has been capitalized on to a point of exhaustion. Even so, the word "Ninja" has been a part of my vocabulary since I was old enough to crawl across a dojo, and I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm not gonna put in my 2 cents.

Stealth; Honor; Discipline; Swordsmanship; Deadly; Awesome; Turtle. These are all words we think of when we hear the word "Ninja". It is a lifestyle that essentially no one has the patience to pursue, yet so many of us wish that we did. However, as much as we certainly do not possess the ideal characteristics of a Ninja, it does not mean that we cannot use some of the lessons that they have taught us. Whether you are crouching behind a car in a dark parking lot in an attempt to vanish, taking a karate stance in a drunken attempt at intimidation, or throwing a drink coaster like it was a Ninja star, you are harnessing the power of the Ninja, and for this we should be thankful.

Some situations in which the art of Ninjutsu may come in handy include: being aggressively surrounded by a group of katana wielding assassins, needing to transfer yourself from one building to another through the use of a grappling hook, being caught with another woman, getting back incorrect change from an incompetent cashier, battling with "girl" issues, having a backflip competition with your friends, playing hide and seek, dealing with the fact that everyone else gets to have a gun and you don't, etc.

In a world where evil doers run rampant, it's good to know that maybe somewhere there is a Ninja doing their exercises in a room where light is only provided by the glow of a thousand candles, and maybe, just maybe, he or she is about to embark on a multi-weaponed Ninja assassination rampage in which there will be many smoke bombs, backflips, neck breaking, Ninja star throwing, nunchuck chucking, and plenty of moonlit rooftop action. For this...... we can only hope. We can also only hope for the fact that said Ninja has a facebook page and is willing to keep us all informed of these missions through the use of photo albums and status updates.

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for Ninjas". Unless you are a "bad guy" in which case you must say "Boy I sure am glad that nobody actually has the balls to be a Ninja assassin vigilante these days, but I'm still gonna keep my ass out of the shadows. Not just because of the Ninjas... I also happen to be afraid of leprechauns, killer ginger dolls, gremlins, and the thought of seeing a teletubby in the dark makes my testicles shrivel up like grapes in an industrial dehydrator."

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

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