Friday, February 26, 2010

Daily Thanks - Day 45 - Magic

Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for magic.

Much like the human race, there are many different kinds of magic. There is White Magic, Black Magic, Magic Mushrooms, Magic Bullet, Magic Johnson, Magic 8-ball, Wicca, Witchcraft, Sorcery, Wizardry, etc. The possibilities are boundless in this art of the arguably sinful society of seance.

"But what is it really?", the people ask. Is it evil? Is it dangerous? Can it make your penis larger? As long as this force is around and talked about there will be questions about it and I may not have every answer you are looking for, but what I can do is remove my hat and sunglasses and pay my respect to this whimsical wonder of many shapes and sizes. So back to the question of "But what is it really?" My only answer for you is...... Oh Oh Oh it's magic! Ya knooooooooow.

Some situations in which you may choose to use magic can include: bringing a little girl's dead rabbit back to life, stealing peoples watches, levitating through an aromatics shop, casting spells on your crush, spying on said crush in the shower, making yourself more tan, finding someone's card, impressing children, impressing drunk people, not impressing the guy interviewing you for a job, giving a girl an orgasm, saving fern gully, etc.

In the words of Doris Day... "When we walk hand-in-hand, the world becomes a wonderland. It's magic. How else can I explain, those rainbows when there isn't rain? It's magic." Ahhh Yes. Magic can also be used to describe a feeling, such as a first kiss, or a successful ring toss rewarding you with a giant stuffed sea otter. I like the phrase "There was magic in the air." It gives you hope that sometimes things will happen for a reason and it will pay off in a beautiful way. Magic can be a blessing, but just make sure that you do not abuse the power of magic or else it will get all kinds of Salem Witch Trial up in this bitch.

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for magic." Unless you have fallen victim to a crazy witchcraft practicing ex who cast a spell on you causing you to experience graphic tourette's while attending dinner parties in which case you must say "Can someone please pass the COCK! NIPPLES! pass the NIPPLES!....... sorry...... I just really.... If you could just pass the COCK!... on my NIPPLES!.........can I be excused?"

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

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