Sunday, February 28, 2010

Daily Thanks - Day 46 - Orgasms

Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for orgasms.

I don't think it's too much of a secret that people are thankful for orgasms. We have all had them, hopefully.... and we all enjoy them. But what do we really know about these sensational soirees of sexual stimulation? If an alien being asked you what an orgasm was would you have an answer? "Uhhh, it's like.... this awesome thing....". That explanation is about as useful as nipples on a man.

The reason that you may have a hard time verbalizing the details of an orgasm is mostly due to the fact that an orgasm is truly a difficult thing to define. We can say that it is a series of pleasurable muscle contractions, but that is merely pertaining to the physiological properties when there are also psychological, endocrinological, and neurological factors that come into play. Especially in women. In a way, an orgasm is beautifully undefinable. It's like a little fairy that flies through our bodies plucking our pleasure strings, and I am expressing gratitude.

Some situations that can lead you to have an orgasm may include: having sex with another human, having sex with a wax sculpture of Sheryl Crow, masturbating in a dark corner, getting a vigorous lap dance, sitting on a washing machine or dryer, having a "nocturnal emission", eating a really good waffle, taking ecstasy and going to a Beck concert, getting a phone call, and........... sneezing...... no lie. It can happen. Google it.

I find it interesting to think about the time of my life that predated my first orgasm. What was I doing with myself? I think the most exciting things in my life then were ninja weapons and cookie cake. Not to speak badly about either of those things, but compared to orgasmic release they are simply moot. That being said, I encourage you all to go out and have yourself an orgasm. Just don't do it on the bus. That is frowned upon.

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for orgasms". Unless you have somehow made it this far in life without achieving climax in which case you must say "I think I've had one...... how do you know? Is it really better than cookie cake?"

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

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