Monday, March 8, 2010

Daily Thanks - Day 47 - Parties

Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for parties.

Ooooohhhhh snap dragon. Today we are talking about parties, and unless you are a pusillanimous shut-in with an action figure collection of unmatched proportions, then the chances are that you too are thankful for parties.

When you have an insurmountable hunger for nocturnal exploits, nothing is as metaphorically hearty as a party. It is an experience that we naturally pine for. From playing that newly acquired song in your itunes while getting ready and doing your "mirror poses", to drinking tequila even though you said you wouldn't, to arriving home much too late for your own good, to waking up hungover and breaking for that glass of ice water that may as well have been sent from angels..... everything is a crucial ingredient in properly treating our kicking and screaming party bug. What can I say? I'm a clown, and parties are my rodeo.

Some situations that you can experience while attending a party may include: taking a shot with someone you haven't seen since high school, having a conversation about how awesome Madonna is, being profoundly mesmerized by a jam session consisting of drunk people making instruments out of kitchen appliances, finally realizing what the phrase "a stupid is as stupid does" actually means, looking for a friend who got the hiccups and then disappeared, finding deep appreciation for gatherings with "open bar", saying to someone "we really need to hang out more. I miss you.", getting into an impromptu freestyle battle or beatbox session, drunkenly making out with someone while thinking to yourself "man, I really have to pee, but if I tell them that will it totally ruin the moment? Will they even be here when I get back? Did I just drink a beer that had a cigarette butt in it?", etc.

Going to a party is kind of like going to church. You go to drink, to sing, to listen to stories, it's just as much about social obligation as anything else, and slap me and call me sally if there isn't a legion of people out there that consider beer a religion. I don't want to go too far with these beliefs, but all I'm saying is that in the church of the heavy clam bake..... call me pastor, and this is my sermon.

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for parties." Unless you have extreme social anxiety and cannot handle the party scene in which case you must say "and I told because they moved my desk 4 times and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels and they were married....but I kept my stapler, and... and if they take my stapler again then... then I.. I'm gonna set the building on fire."

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

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