Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Daily Thanks - Day 51 - Dates

Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for dates.

Whether you're sharing an intimate evening with a significant other, feeling out a new candidate for possible courtship, or simply sharing a cheese platter with your platonic friend whom will never abide to your fantasies of carnal pleasure, dates can be a beautiful, deep dish slice of life.

The company. The ambiance. The timeless, warm decor of your favorite smokehouse - all of the accoutrements of a perfect date night. Sure, from time to time we can get a few butterflies in our baskets, but what's life without the occasional line drive at our nerves. Just remember to be polite, be yourself, listen, don't bring up sex toys before appetizers, and don't flirt with your server. At least, not too much.... Follow these guidelines and you've got the bulk of the ingredients needed for a fantastic date, and for that you should be thankful.

Some situations that you can experience while on a date may include: giggling like a schoolgirl, wondering if there is something in your teeth, showing off your juggling skills, wishing that alcohol wasn't so expensive, drinking great amounts of alcohol in an attempt to forget about how expensive it is, watching a scary movie, being super excited about a cuddle initiation, finding out that your date is married, questioning your morals, starting to feel like you've been setup, thinking that becoming a double agent was a risky idea, making cookies, having an amazing time, etc.

When talking about dates there is one thing that always comes to mind. The goodnight kiss. When is it going to happen? Will it happen at all? Is a boob grab inappropriate? The answers are always going to be - Don't know, Don't know, and...... follow your instincts. The best thing to remember is that, chances are, your date is thinking about it as well, and unless the night was a total disaster or if one of you has recently vomited then I would say go ahead and lunge! Then top it off with a smooth line like "mmmm just like your sister."

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for dates." Unless you feel that dating is for pathetic pea-brains in a hopeless search for love in which case you must say "You people are all just sick masochists. Don't you see what love and relationships do to people? It's a path to self destruction! God I really hate that Hugh Grant."

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

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