Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Daily Thanks - Day 37 - Revenge

Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for Revenge.

Revenge. The most powerful motive and a common root to some of the greatest stories ever told. Even though the need to seek out revenge is most likely the result of a numbingly tragic event, we tend to thoroughly enjoy the temporary or permanent insanity that the revenge inflictor endures. We respect their passion, fearlessness, and overall lack of concern for their own life.

Of course, I tend to get a little ahead of myself. Not all tales of revenge have to be of epic proportion and life threatening. Some can be more on a level of what I like to call "playful retaliation". Example: A roommate happens to take your sandwich without asking. That's a low blow, snacky joe. As a result I may seek vengeance by hiring a male prostitute to bust into his work and cause a scene while screaming "You gave me herpes you slut!" That tends to get the message across fairly well. Revenge can be a beautiful thing if carried out with grace and dignity, and for this we should be thankful.

Some situations that can cause you to seek revenge may include: Being cut in front of in a line, having your family brutally murdered by a ruthless villain, falling victim to identity theft, being deliberately "cock-blocked", having your modest yet charming and loved business threatened by an evil conglomerate, being told that the movie "Be Cool" is "worth a watch", having a stripper refuse to give you change for a dollar, etc.

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold. I have always liked that saying. The message that it is trying to give is that as a victim of wrong doing you are temporarily given the permission to break down societal barriers, cast your morals aside and lash out in a ruthless whirlwind. But think about this... What are some of the common dishes that are served cold? ice cream, potato soup, yogurt parfait, cereal, jello..... what do they all have in common? They are all eaten with a spoon, which means that the recipient of the dish is at their most helpless state of defense. Ah hah! From this I conclude that if you are to seek revenge, maybe it doesn't mean that serving it cold means to serve it ruthlessly and carelessly. Maybe it means to serve it strategically in a way that the target of revenge is at their weakest position and face an inevitable peril. Wuah ha haha hahahaha!

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for revenge". Unless right now you are expecting to have revenge taken upon you in which case you must say "I'll have the toughest piece of meat you got. Steaming hot! with a side of.... clay pigeons. Yeeeeaaa." Think about it.......

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

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