Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for pranks.
There are moments we tend to feel that our lives can be a long dull path into an imminent stalemate. When will this day end? When will they call back? When will this rash dwindle? When these feelings are upon us it is sometimes appropriate to seek enjoyment and excitement at the expense of others. That's right. Pranks. High jinks. Shenanigans.... But if you are to partake in the world of pranking just remember 3 things.
1. Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
2. Do them out of jest and playfulness.
3. Rape is not a prank.
Some classic pranks that you can perform may include: the taped down sink sprayer, the cup of water over the doorway, the flour in the hair dryer, the saran wrap over the toilet seat, the embezzlement of your boss's money, the adultery, the tying one's shoelaces together while they're sitting, the removing of a subject's chair from behind them as they stand, and who can forget the trusty ol' "roofie in the drink". The girls love that one.
The desire for mischievousness is just a part of being a human. Who are we to fight our natural urges? So get out there and have some fun with a prank or two, but try not to let it get too out of hand. If it does... just remember that the best way to clean blood is hydrogen peroxide and COLD water. Do not use any warm water on tainted surfaces until all blood has been sufficiently diluted.
So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for pranks". Unless you have recently fallen victim to a horrible prank leaving your body and/or soul in a state of dilapidation in which case you must say "Although I am covered in burn scars and have a crushed larynx, I must say.... you got me, man. You got me. If I could.... I would laugh...... and then stab you."
Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.
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