Monday, November 9, 2009
Daily Thanks - Day 15 - Super Famous
Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful that I am not super famous.
Sure it's always nice to be appreciated for something you've done. It makes us as happy as a pedophile at Chuck E. Cheese to have a little bit of recognition every once in a while. However, I would never want to be so famous that I couldn't even ride around on my pony named "Ninja Face" screaming "the french toast is cold!!" without the risk of making instant headlines. After all, this is America and we like to have our options open.
Dave Chappelle once said about Bill Clinton "Imagine being so famous that someone could suck your dick and then THEY'RE famous." A damn fine pick up line indeed, but not worth the baggage, much too large for carry-on, that comes along with it. We should be appreciative that we can all pretty much go where we want and do what we want without the possible repercussion of public vilification.
Some things that could cause you to become super famous include: singing opera for Simon Cowell, playing a fantastic mentally challenged southern boy on a bench, being sort of famous and making a sex tape, losing 240 pounds by eating subway sandwiches, letting Bill Clinton violate you with his cigar, going on a murdering rampage ending with Gianni Versace, getting bitten by a "Super Spider" and obtaining it's powers, being a badass raspy voiced cowboy, having a sweet ass, etc.
We all know that being super famous has its perks. You get to go to awesome parties, drive awesome cars, buy awesome children, and could probably walk right in to a P.F Changs without even having to wait for a table. I think I would have some serious trust issues, though. Everyone wants to screw over and use famous people. I'd be so paranoid I would even question the sincerity of a puppies love. "Why'd you lick me??!! What do you want from me??!! Does that collar have a camera in it!!?? Who sent you!? Are you with The Times??!! The french toast is cold!!!"
So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful that I am not super famous." Unless you are in fact super famous in which case you must say...... Aw who cares what you have to say. You're famous. But I was wondering if maybe you could take a look at my screenplay?
Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.