Friday, November 13, 2009

Daily Thanks - Day 17 - Aliens

Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for aliens.

Aliens are on a prestigious list of things that make you go hmmmmm. They make for an amazing story/movie/tv show/documentary/musical/tampon commercial etc. and I must say that alien abduction is a subject tackled more often than a sluggish fullback. It's one of those things that can bring just a dollop of excitement into our seemingly mundane lives and we should be thankful for at least the concept of these foreign figments even if you're not really "a believer". I say believe what you want, but know that it's always the skeptics that get abducted....

Some situations that may cause you to have a "close encounter" may include: wandering in the woods at night, driving a pick up truck on a barren road, doing essentially anything in a small town or rural area, sleep paralysis, leaving trails of candy, being a liar, being a drunken crop duster pilot, playing the notes "B flat, C, A flat, (down an octave) A flat, E flat", etc.

A little piece of everybody believes, or at least wants to believe, that they're out there. Fight it all you want with your weather balloons and your strange metals and elements in crop fields or whatever your "perfectly logical explanations" may be. I still believe that ol' Susie May Saltycube from Bethlehem, GA saw something. Sure she only has one eye and still believes in Santa Claus but if we can't love and trust our neighbors then we are no better than the possums we kill for dinner. Aliens... enough with the crop circles and abductions already you flirtatious devils. Let's have a look at 'cha.

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for aliens." Unless you actually have been abducted and it was a terrible sexually and mentally abusive experience in which case you must say "You don't know the things I've seen..... the things I've felt.... when you stare into the eyes of something so evil and frightening.... it's like a surging wave of cold needles coursing through your soul.... the horror...... the maddening and upmost trepidation.... for more please pick up my book entitled "E.T and Me" for $25.95"

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

1 comment:

  1. I most certainly am asking for the aliens to abduct me...everyhwere I walk there is a trail of candy that follows.. - Blake Olmstead